"I will love myself when I lose the weight" This was a common phrase I would say to myself before I embarked on my journey of losing 125 lbs.
I am sure you have heard the saying "the grass is greener on the other side" well I can tell you that there is no reason to focus on the grass on the other side when there is perfectly green grass right where you are.
How we talk to ourselves matters. It matters a lot. I often ask my clients
"Do you talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend?"
The overwhelming majority of people say that they don't. They admit that they are mean, short, impatient, and demeaning of themselves in their own heads.
I don't judge this mindset in any way. I don't judge it because I was no different for a large part of my life. I was no better.
I often follow-up that question with another one.
"Would you be friends with someone who talks to you the way you talk to you?"
Of course everyone says "Of course not!"
It never hurts to talk kinder to yourself. It never hurts to be a friend to yourself. No one else will know if you are nice to yourself.
I am not going to sit here and say I am perfect at this myself. I am NOT but I work on it all the time and get better and better at it every day. I can say that changing my self talk from a mean tone to a kind tone has helped me lose my weight. It made a difference!
When you have a day filled with food choices you preferred you didn't make, or when you look at yourself in the mirror, take a moment and be kind to yourself. Say good things to yourself. Encourage yourself. Don't waste your precious mental energy by berating yourself.
Let's be honest with each other for a moment. Being mean to yourself has not worked for you so far, so why on earth would you keep doing it? It doesn't work!!!
This is why positive affirmations are so helpful. Taking a few moments to intentionally say nice things to yourself is worth it. Doing this allows us a moment to feel what it is like to hear something kind, encouraging, and uplifting directed towards ourselves. How good does it feel when someone tells you "I am really proud of you." I imagine it feels pretty good. Well take a moment, celebrate the good things you have done in your life recently. Focus on your positives more and on your negatives less.
This doesn't mean you should stop trying to be better. As Les Brown would say "You can always better your best" and I am 100% a believer in that statement. When you love yourself you will probably want to do good things for yourself. Love yourself as you are today and then lovingly and kindly push yourself to greatness. Push yourself to get the weight loss goals you have been afraid to strive for.